—Redo Notes— (Possible spoilers for new readers!)
Comparison Page 98 A much more dramatic entrance here.
I LOVE this new dramatic entrance, holy sh-t.
The lighting is perfect, and I love the second panel especially for showing the audience just how badly Potato was hurt. I knew she’d been sliced in the tummy, but it was harder to see in the last couple of pages due to her red shirt, if I was a first time reader I think I might have missed that she was bleeding there at first glance. Over here, in all the dramatic lighting, we can clearly see that Aksel’s anger was justified.
Speaking of which, his anger in the updated pages holds a lot more weight and impact! We got to see him being playful, fatherly, and helpful with Potato while she was exploring the clouds. He clearly cares about her. It’s a stark contrast to the sheer rage he expresses in page 97 and 98. It’s not just justified, now it’s pretty damn scary.
I had to make multiple edits and revisions to this because I made the mistake of writing it as soon as I woke up
Potato’s tail and horns are back!! A really nice bit of action
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